Roll Neck - ASOS
Dress - Cath Kidston
Boots - Topshop
Glasses - Chanel
So I'm not going to lie. October / early November has been a time of general upheaval, confusion and a head scratching what-am-I-going-to-do-now conundrum.
This time last year, I was hunkered down in a rainy West Wales cradling a mug of coffee and scribbling furiously in my notepad. I had just been taken on to launch a new blog for The DO Lectures. And I was full of ideas. And passion. And pride. I had landed my dream job, things were looking up.
I designed the content structure of the blog in a pad that I had bought specially from the WH Smiths a few doors down on Cardigan's high street. There and then. I instinctively knew what I wanted for the site. I jotted the design on a fistful of post it notes. I gave the blog its name.
Everything I had, I threw at it. 8am starts and midnight finishes, it didn't matter to me. There are too many blogs out there to be apathetic about your own. Passion, consistency, quality. It's the basic rules of running anything online.
And, boy, was I committed to that.
Since The DO Blog launched on November 1st 2013, I had a grand total of two days off - one was Christmas day and the other I was in hospital - not because I felt I had to, but because I was besotted with the thing. Given complete creative freedom, I ran it like it was mine. Like I was a fundamental part of it. And that was my biggest mistake.
Because now I have to let it go. And it hurts like holy hell. I work with copious amounts of optimism and emotion and for the first time, I briefly wondered if that was a bad thing. Maybe I should be more cut and dry. Maybe I shouldn't get so attached to something that, ultimately, was never mine.
But, with a little hindsight and a little space, I figure there's a way to learn from this without losing the driving passion and childish enthusiasm that makes me who I am.
What happened with DO? Nothing dramatic. Or even especially interesting. Through a tough financial winter for a small business, I became an expense DO couldn't afford. Simple enough, really. That's probably what makes it worse.
But hey. As my yoga teacher says, life is made up of lessons and blessings. Whether life moves for or against us, there's always an opportunity to learn.
I gave myself maybe a week of sulking post-DO. Then I got myself a job with my favourite brand, Cath Kidston. My other dream job. One of those things that sat at the top of my 'when I'm better, I'd like do to that' list.
It's different. It's fast paced. And exactly what I needed.
The change is scary, yes. But change is inevitable and, when all is said and done, what we're designed for as human beings. We adapt, we evolve, we roll with the punches.